Thoughts on conscious Love and Compassion because when we attend to our greater good we are attending to THE greater good.

Archive for the ‘Optimism’ Category

Life Coaches are Imperfect

cryBeing a life coach doesn’t mean that I am problem-free.  I do have problems.  In fact, after about 9 months in the grieving process and feeling like the kids and I were doing pretty well after “The Divorce” – they’re at each other’s throats and it leaves me wondering, “were the last nine months a deceitful cycle?  Were we actually in denial the whole time and we’re just now hitting anger?”

Likewise, being a trauma and illness coach doesn’t keep me from experiencing trauma or illness.  After all…I did still go through “The Divorce” and I’m still working at getting well after meningitis struck me eight long years ago!
Being a life coach DOES, however, give me amazing tools on how to deal w/ the problems/trauma/illness; being a life coach DOES give me practice at not only facing my crap (ask my closest friends and they’ll tell you all about those moment’s when I just cry) but facing it with a deeper understanding that “IT” is not “ME”.
I actually like to think of it as facing my crap with aplomb; I face my process without guilt or shame (truth is, sometimes we ALL just cry).
Being a life coach also gives me a deeper understanding of those adages that we say but sometimes don’t really get until we’ve been through the wringer:  “this too shall pass,” “time heals all wounds,” (I don’t necessarily agree with that one see this post to find out why), and “it’s always darkest before the dawn” and my favorite (one that drives some people nuts), “everything happens for a reason.”
Truth is there is no immunity to human tribulations.  It is important for all of us to remember that.  When we do we can accept that sometimes we haven’t done anything “wrong” – it’s just a piece of the puzzle that makes up our life story.
Pain is inevitable; suffering is a choice.  Sometimes we just need to cry and ask for help.  When we do we actively improve our situation and ourselves.
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I am a Trauma & Illness Recovery Coach:  Life Coach for people who feel no one understands.  
You can learn more about my and my services at www.TheWellnessAccomplice.com or find me on Facebook.

And yes…I capitalize words like Love, Self and Happiness because they just feel that important to me.

Time Does NOT Heal all Wounds

heal-a-cut.s600x600“There’s a lot of bitterness, there’s a lot of anger out there.  We all have to work hard to heal those wounds.” – Allen Boyd
After a big transformative event we’re often left dazed, confused, hurt or lost.  During these times we hear, either from ourselves or others, “that time heals all wounds.”  I’ve been a life coach for long enough that I recognize that while this advice is well-meaning and will help someone focus on the temporary nature of any problem it is, quite simply, inaccurate.
Yes, eventually a routine will kick in and we’ll feel less and less dazed.  We will begin to employ coping mechanisms that help us find meaning that dulls the confusion and the pain.  And we will be forced to go on which, with time,  will help us feel less lost.  Basically, distance from the big moments will get us functional.
However, functionality is not the same as healing.
We cannot truly heal unless we take the time to seek help in seeing our blind spots and then choose to go inward.  We must be willing to (when we’re ready) lean into the experience of the transformative event and evaluate any conclusions we’ve made around that experience. We must give ourselves permission to consciously access a healing process that is right for us…and that takes work!!
I encourage you to love yourself enough to go, layer by layer, into your emotions, your thoughts and assumptions to find  true healing so that you may begin your real purpose here.
Time may get you functional but it will not, on it’s own, heal all wounds; only consciousness and Love can do that.
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Triffany Hammond is a Trauma & Illness Recovery Coach:  Life Coach for people who feel no one understands.
You can learn more about my and my services at www.TheWellnessAccomplice.com or find me on Facebook.

And yes…I capitalize words like Love, Self and Happiness because they just feel that important to me.

Are Optimists Smarter?

optimism.preview
“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.”  – Harry S. Truman
It has been proven that optimists are much more affective at engaging problem solving skills than their pessimistic counterparts.
Love, happiness, optimism, humor, laughter, kindness, openness, calm, friendship….. add as many positive emotions as you can to your life.  No matter where you are, no matter how difficult things seem you should know that the brain operates at its highest levels when it has been infused with optimism.
When you infuse the positive emotions into your life you feed your brain in ways you may not even be aware of.  Susan Reynolds, author of “Prime Your Gray Cells,”  says that, “feeling pleasure can be so stimulating for your brain that it is primed to respond to pleasure in a way that reinforces pleasure.”  What this means is that YOU have the choice to create a positive feedback loop in your brain. “Other than being much more fun to be around,” she continues, “being happy:
  • stimulates the growth of nerve connections
  • improves cognition by increasing mental productivity
  • improves your ability to analyze and think
  • increases attentiveness
  • leads to more happy thoughts”

How do YOU want to spend your time?  Choose carefully, because you’re choosing the fuel you provide to your brain to be able to solve your problems and build on your successes.

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Triffany Hammond is a Trauma & Illness Recovery Coach:  Life Coach for people who feel no one understands.  
You can learn more about my and my services at www.TheWellnessAccomplice.com or find me on Facebook.
If you liked this post, here’s different post on Happiness that you might also like. 

And yes…I capitalize words like Love, Self and Happiness because they just feel that important to me.